


Colour Hassles

by Clytia



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Cinderella Elements, Comedy, Crossdressing, Fairy Tale Elements, M/M, Romance, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 12:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7573282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clytia/pseuds/Clytia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joonmyun works for the embassy of another planet when they assign him to take care of the upcoming Prince Yifan. His job doesn’t allow him to show his face, but everything turns upside down when his friends convince him to go to the Prince’s banquet dressed as a girl. Chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Colour Hassles

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the [yifantasy fest](yifantasy.livejournal.com/). I really enjoyed it and I definitely tried some new things! Also, because I was very busy when I submitted it to the fest there were some mistakes on the fic. I have corrected what I was able to pinpoint, if you find some, feel free to comment about it. Thanks!
> 
> 04/02/2018 Update! Corrected A LOT OF GRAMMAR MISTAKES. It's so embarrassing that the original un-betaed version is still out there.

“Joonmyun are you there?” a voice echoed through the tiny room and Joonmyun jolted in his chair. He quickly swallowed down his lunch while turning on the screen in front of him, which was now showing a boyish man with purple hair looking straight at him.

“Yes, Ambassador?” he replied and straightened his back even though the man could not see him.

Ambassador Minseok hummed and smiled a little. “Joonmyun, how are you?” he asked but he didn’t wait for the answer. “I have a new job for you. Possibly a promotion, but more demanding too.”

Joonmyun raised his eyebrows. A change in his job could be a good thing. _A very good thing_ , because to be honest he could spend his days doing way more difficult things than what he did now. Not that he was complaining, the money he earned was already more than enough.

Joonmyun worked on Earth, for the embassy of planet B-876 or commonly known as Moerah, in the Andromeda galaxy. Each planet had their own customs and Moerah did not trust machines. At least not entirely.

Based on this untrustworthiness, his job was to take orders and manipulate the machines behind a desk with so many buttons that a newbie would have had a stroke. Joonmyun was good at his job and somehow content that he only had to talk and press buttons, not worrying about how his hair looked every day.

“Luhan just informed me that his cousin from Moerah will visit Earth for an indefinite amount of time,” the Ambassador informed him and Joonmyun frowned. “His cousin is a Prince too so he will need a personal assistant to help him adjust. He also wishes to learn Earthling English too. I thought that someone with your experience with languages might be of help. Do you agree?”

Joonmyun blinked, trying to absorb the news. This didn’t sound much different than what he was already doing except that there was the factor he would be able to use his language knowledge too. Which was good. He had missed talking in other languages and he could be a teacher. Or so he thought. Without thinking it too much he took his decision.

“I'll be happy to help,” Joonmyun said and felt a bit nervous from the possibilities. He reminded himself that this was a good thing.

"Thank you, Joonmyun. The details and the change of contract will be discussed later, is that alright with you?"

"Yes, of course." The other man smiled and with a nod, he turned off their communication.

Joonmyun exhaled loudly. He nervously span his chair around and looked at the spinning room, but he didn’t feel dizzy. He had half an hour left to his break so he had plenty of time to think about the news more carefully. He hoped that he didn’t make a mistake and overvalued his abilities.

As a hybrid with an Earthling Father and Siren Mother from Planet Z-476 or 'Amphar', he got the job at the embassy easily enough. Being half a Siren was good even though he didn’t have the ability to lure and hypnotise people like the rest of his kind could. Sometimes Joonmyun felt a bit disappointed by this because there were times when he really needed to make Baekhyun shut up. At least Jongdae who’s half a vampire could do that with his pointless magic, but only at nights. Baekhyun usually talked all day.

But what Joonmyun could do was to imitate voices and the most impressive of all, learn a language in one day. Good genes. Only that his hair's changing colour depending on his emotions and that’s something he doesn’t want to talk about. While he span his chair, his world turning a bit pink by the walls around him, he remembered when his hair turned a neon pink when he got drunk – _once!_ \- and Baekhyun made sure to take pictures and share them on everyone’s social media.

Then his hair turned the darkest shade of black he had ever witnessed. Jongdae said it suit him while Joonmyun was trying to hit Baekhyun with a shrinking laser, but instead ended up shrinking his cat which resulted in a three-day struggle to find where Ser Pounce went, and then trying to hold him without squishing him in order to turn him back to normal. Joonmyun swore that the next time he would shrink Baekhyun and he would feed him to the cat.

That was right before he got hired by the embassy of Moerah. The first thought that he had about Ambassador Minseok, was that he was a very small and reserved man with a kind smile but eyes that showed just how smart he was. Unlike his partner Luhan at least. They both interviewed him and were impressed by Joonmyun’s abilities. They hired him immediately. Joonmyun on the papers served as the official translator of the embassy but most of the time, he was just punching buttons and making machines water the lawn, do the laundry or paint Luhan’s nails. He sincerely hoped that he did not have to paint the Prince’s nails too. He had enough troubles with idiots in his life.

.....

Turned out that Prince Yifan looked nothing like Luhan except for the dirty blond hair --that Joonmyun had when he took exams--. The prince was way broader than the ambassador’s partner and way taller, with sharp features instead of the soft ones his cousin possessed. Joonmyun watched the man wander around the bedroom for a while. Usually he didn't have access to bedrooms without vocal command but as it was the first day he had to introduce himself to the clueless-looking prince.

Prince Yifan finally stopped and stood in front of the tray of food watching it with interest and Joonmyun remembered that each planet has their own cuisine and he should probably introduce himself and give an explanation about the food.

But as he was ready to talk, he witnessed the giant alien-idiot taking a chocolate cupcake and shoving it whole into his mouth.

Joonmyun only managed to make a sound.

Which resulted to Yifan choking.

Which resulted to Joonmyun immediately sending a first aid robot to ensure that the Prince would not die on the first seconds of their encounter by a cupcake. This would surely create a diplomatic episode and he was not ready to be blamed for this kind of thing. Not to mention that he could get fired. _Terrible_.

So when Yifan stopped choking, Joonmyun took the liberty to talk first.

“Hello."

Yifan looked around him.

“Hi?”

“You can see the speaker on the wall on your right, above the night stand,” he explained and saw Yifan looking for the devise and finally finding it.

“My name is Joonmyun and I am at your service, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you,” Yifan said but sounded a bit hesitant. Joonmyun was ready to continue but Yifan talked again. “Can you see me?”

“Yes, I can.”

“And you’re a robot?”

Joonmyun smirked but restrained himself from laughing. “No, I am not,” he simply replied.

“Oh. Uhm I heard that there is a system like this here… Sorry, I am not used to it. So… I can’t see you?”

Joonmyun raised his eyebrow at the screen. “No. My working place is on the moderating room."

“Oh! Okay,” he said but looked awkward. This man radiated awkwardness, Joonmyun thought and he noticed that his own hair had turned a redwood colour. _Weird_.

“So!” he said excitedly. “This is your personal bedroom and you also have access to a room by the door on your left where you will have your personal space, to study and place your belongings. The door on your right is your closet, I will make sure your clothes will be placed in it, but if you have any special orders please inform me. As for me, I will be your personal assistant. You can ask me for things and I will make them happen immediately.”

“No matter the hour?”

 _He is not such an idiot_ , Joonmyun thought. _He is actually either very considerate about others or himself._

“My services are 24 hours, just as many hours there are on Earth each day, meaning that I am available at all times.”

“All times?” Yifan asked and Joonmyun could see that he furrowed his eyebrows. “Don’t you sleep? Or are you that type of species…?”

“No,” Joonmyun interrupted him. “I sleep. But I get a mini device with me when I go home, a mini controller you can say, so I can do some basic things even from there. Don’t be afraid to wake me up, it’s my job.”

He saw Yifan nodding but not looking convinced. Maybe he would sleep after all.

“At the times that I might not be available,” he continued “a robot will take my place but you will immediately get informed about it, so you’ll know it’s not me.”

“I understand,” he said. “What's your name?”

“It's Joonmyun” he said. "Just call me by that," he clarified, “and I will get connected. You can call me from every room. I have camera access to all of them except bathrooms and you have to give me permission about bedrooms. If you don’t want me somewhere or you feel like being watched, please tell me to adjust the system to your needs. Most people need some time to get accustomed to the feeling.”

“I understand,” the Prince said and made a pause before continuing. “But for now, I am hungry. What are these? Can I eat this?” and he grabbed the red rose in the middle of the food tray.

“That’s the only thing you can’t eat” Joonmyun said as he quietly facepalmed.

 

 

.....

_Apparently they don’t have roses in Moerah. Or fashion sense_ , Joonmyun decided as he organised Yifan’s closet.

_Is that a purple wig? Oh for Moon’s sake! I can’t!_

It was only getting worse by each item he made the robot sort into sections. He found a hideous black and white outfit that looked like a cleaning rug and some very tight and very flashy leather pants with glowing jewels and neon colours. Maybe Yifan had an eyesight problem that Joonmyun failed to identify and surely it was not a planet thing because Minseok and Luhan dressed just fine most of the times.

Joonmyun sighed as he made the robot pick a hideous black hat with parrot feathers on it, but in that moment Yifan decided to enter the closet. When he saw the robot he stopped his steps.

“Joonmyun, is that you?”

“Yes, sir”.

“You don’t have to call me a ' _sir_ ', you know,” he chuckled. “I feel embarrassed”.

 _You should be_ , Joonmyun thought but decided to make the robot nod.

“Oh, you’re already organising my clothes? I can’t wait to put them on!” he said excitedly and Joonmyun had the urge to scream. “They are new! I picked them just for Earth, you know, to blend in better!” Joonmyun did not realise that he gaped, until Yifan gave him a weird look, like waiting to confirm what he just said.

“Oh! Oh…” he squealed, “Uhm… Where did you get them?”

“I bought them online! It said that they used to be very popular in the past, mostly by celebrities! And that they give a vintage look! I like vintage, so I bought them. They are good, right?”

Joonmyun blinked.

In the end he decided to contact Luhan to break the news to the poor Prince, but that did not end up well as he had to witness Luhan falling to floor laughing about half an hour. And Yifan looked totally clueless which was kinda cute, but Joonmyun had to stop himself there. Yifan was not cute, he was hideous.

_Absolutely hideous._

 

.....

Watching Yifan was indeed funnier than expected. The Prince was so uncoordinated with his long limps and big figure. The funniest part was that he did not remember that he was being watched. That way Joonmyun caught him stumbling across furniture all the time –oh, how he laughed at him-, stealing cupcakes from the kitchen –apparently he was not traumatised by his first encounter with the local food- and breaking the arm of Luhan’s most precious statue of himself and then trying to desperately fix it with glue without anyone noticing it.

Joonmyun preferred to watch how Yifan would handle the situation without him, and he was not disappointed. For example, he saw Yifan encountering a butterfly for the first time. Which started good, as he admired the colours, but ended terribly as the butterfly decided to attack him and go straight to his face. Listening to Yifan scream was a weird experience. By the end of it his eyes went red, something that he had noticed only sometimes with Minseok and Luhan, and… he was flying?

More like floating to say the truth.

Joonmyun gaped at the sight.

Yifan was stuck on the ceiling, with an expression of horror drawn on his face, while the butterfly was going around circles in the room.

“Uhm, it can’t hurt you,” he finally said.

“You saw that?” the prince hissed.

“Yes. Sorry."

 

.....

“So you just watch him?” Baekhyun asked, Joonmyun not liking the tone of his voice at all. “ _Without permission?”_

“I have permission,” he insisted.

“No you don’t!” Baekhyun said embarrassingly loud and Joonmyun winced. Such a mistake to invite them over.

“He never told me to disconnect the camera.”

“Maybe because he didn’t think that you would stalk him like a creep? He probably forgot about it!”

“He didn’t!” Joonmyun said even though he knew that Baekhyun was right. “And I am not a creep. I take care of him.”

“By watching him being bullied by butterflies?” Jongdae teased and Joonmyun felt his hair turning a vibrant red.

“Hey, don’t get angry!” Baekhyun was quick to say but there was no way back now.

“It’s not my fault that he is such a klutz!” Joonmyun hissed and hugged his pillow angrily, suppressing his urge to bite it.

“Okay, okay,” Jongdae patted him on the head, which _he knew_ that he did not like. “I am sure your intentions are noble. Besides, your hair turn a light pink sometimes when you mention him-”

“What-” Joonmyun interrupted.

“-and we all know that’s the colour you have when you get a crush on- _Oh?"_

“I do not!”

“Yes you do!” Baekhyun said, taking Jongdae’s side. “You have a crush on the prince! Your hair never lies Joonmyun!”

Joonmyun looked at him with his most murderous look.

“Baek, I swear, his hair only gets so black with you… Joonmyun please breathe and stop looking at him like that.” Nothing. “I command you.”

Joonmyun had to look somewhere else. “I hate you,” he mumbled.

Baekhyun chuckled and came closer to hug Jongdae. “Hey, don’t be so pessimistic. Your prince may love you too if you decide to show your pretty face. Don’t you want what Dae and I have?” he said and pecked Jongdae lightly on the lips. Joonmyun made a face.

“I don’t have a crush on him,” he insisted.

“Sure,” Baekhyun said and touched a strand of his hair that was incidentally a pastel pink with barely distinctive white strands which meant he was lying about something.

Joonmyun widened his eyes.

He hated his hair.

.....

 

Yifan proved to be good at languages after all, even if his accent was a bit weird. Joonmyun also noticed that by the time he started to understand English, the man started to talk in his sleep in all the languages he knew. Joonmyun listened with curiosity Yifan saying things like:

“I don’t like chicken…”

“I want to save the duck crossing the road…”

“I lost my lemon tree, have you seen it…?”

“Those are my cupcakes…”

“Luhan stop pinching me…”

Joonmyun convinced himself that he was not a creep for listening his boss sleep-talking. It was a part of his job to take care of him after all, he thought but the next words hit him like a train on the top of a mountain.

“I like your boobs.”

Joonmyun shrieked in his room and cupped his innocent ears with his palms.

_What a pervert!_

Dreaming about boobs? What a creep! He would never listen to him sleep-talking again!

Of course he did not kept that promise. And of course he felt miserable after he realised it.

 

 

.....

The next day, he eyed Yifan judgmentally but of course the man could not see him.

“Joonmyun. Are you here?” he asked and laid on his bed.

“Yes sir."

“No 'sirs,'” he corrected him and placed his arms behind his head, giving Joonmyun a nice view.

“Okay,” Joonmyun sighed “What do you want?”

“Do I have to want something? Can’t we just talk?”

“Uhm…? I guess?”

“Good!” Yifan said with a light smile. “So, did you grow up here on Earth?”

“Yes, I have never left actually,” he responded.

“Really? Nowhere?”

“I’ve travelled through all of Earth though,” he added. “For my studies. I wanted to learn as many languages as I could and they took me in a program. Earth might be small, but it has many things to see.”

Yifan hummed in agreement. “What was your favourite place?”

Joonmyun thought about it for a while. “To tell you the truth, it’s hard to choose, because most places are stunning. But I really liked the Mediterranean countries. They give off a very relaxing feeling, beautiful but not overwhelming.”

“Should I go there sometime?”

“Definitely,” Joonmyun laughed. “You would enjoy it. And you would love the food.”

“Food is important,” Yifan laughed with him. “But I heard that you are a hybrid, haven’t you gone to your other planet?”

Joonmyun froze for a while and Yifan seemed to sense it.

“I mean… if you want to talk about it! You don’t have to tell me, sorry-”

“No,” Joonmyun interrupted him “It’s okay, I don’t mind,” he said. “My mother is from Amphar,” he stated. “She came here for three years for a diplomatic mission but then she had to leave and uhm… she couldn’t take me with her because you know… Amphar is an aquatic planet.”

Yifan nodded with a serious expression.

“I am very capable in water, don’t misunderstand, and I can hold my breath for hours,” Joonmyun felt like he was ready to stutter but tried to clear his voice. “But the doctors here said that I probably wouldn’t be able to handle the cold water there. Not that I would die immediately like a normal Earthling, but there was a higher risk of me getting sick very easily and stuff, so my mother left me here with my father.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s okay. I got over it,” Joonmyun laughed. “Besides, she still visits once in a while. Don’t you miss your home?”

Yifan finally seemed to cheer a bit. “Sometimes! But in a normal way. I actually love to travel and Earth is so beautiful, you’re very lucky,” he said with a soft expression. “I like that it’s blue, it’s so relaxing. My planet has a red sky did you know it?”

“No,” Joonmyun replied. “Sounds… tense?”

“It is,” Yifan confirmed. “It can get a soft red sometimes, like your sunset and sunrise but we have three sun stars so it’s never night there.”

“Three?” Joonmyun said shocked. He knew that many planets had more than one star but he didn’t exactly do a research on Moerah.

“Yes three!” Yifan laughed. “The two are very close to each other, so they are always together in the sky. The third is alone, but when the other two set, you might see them all three in the sky. That’s a nice view.”

“No nights,” Joonmyun repeated.

“Yep. And no stars,” Yifan continued.

“No stars?”

“No stars,” Yifan confirmed. “The first time I saw them in my first trip, I was stunned. Seriously you’re so lucky here. I no longer wonder why Luhan and Minseok decided to stay for so long. Did you know that Moerah offered them to go to more prosperous planets, but they refused? They said that they have a nice life here, even though humans can be annoying.” He smirked at the last comment.

“ _Luhan_ said that _humans_ can be annoying?” Joonmyun retorted and rolled his eyes.

“I know. But I wish I could live here all my life too.”

Joonmyun bit his lip. “Don’t you have to go back though? You’re a prince.”

Yifan sighed. “I am not the eldest,” he concluded. “But age doesn’t really matter in our line of succession, the next Governor will be decided by the previous one with the help of a council. My eldest sister will probably take the title, so I am kinda free to do whatever I want with my life as long as I can represent Moerah with pride. I can be an ambassador too, like Minseok. That would be good.”

 _But not on Earth_ , Joonmyun thought. _Earth already has an ambassador._

 

 

.....

Two months passed until their planet conversation and Joonmyun watched with interest as Luhan got into Yifan’s room like a hurricane and started talking excitedly in Moerah language, so fast that he could barely understand them. Yifan seemed to have the same problem as he seemed a bit startled, then panicked and then finally accepted his fate and waited for Luhan to finish.

“I don’t think this is going to be a good idea,” he finally said.

 _What’s not a good idea?_ , was Joonmyun’s first thought.

Luhan made a whining sound. “Oh, come on Yifan! You need to socialize more! A banquet will be the perfect opportunity for you to make friends.”

“I have friends.”

Luhan raised an eyebrow.

“Like…? Joonmyun? Are you here?”

“Yes sir,” Joonmyun breathed.

“Does he have any friends?” Luhan asked with a judgemental tone knowing the answer.

 _I am his friend,_ was Joonmyun’s first thought but then he remembered his position. He was not Yifan’s friend, he was basically his servant and claiming to be a prince’s friend might be rude.

“I… I don’t know sir,” he decided to say and he missed the painful expression that momentarily passed through Yifan’s eyes.

Luhan looked expectedly at Yifan again. “See? You don’t have friends.”

The prince did not answer, just played with the hem of his shirt.

“So, a banquet will be,” Luhan concluded. “Just for your shake, don’t forget that you’re a prince and that it’s our duty to present you to the society here. A banquet for you will open many opportunities and who knows, maybe you will find a lady to spend your days with,” he said and winked.

Joonmyun felt to urge to push all the buttons at once, but Yifan looked scandalized too and almost offended. Not much like the person who mumbles 'I like your boobs' in his sleep, Joonmyun remembered.

“Luhan you know I am waiting,” he whined.

“Oh, poor child,” Luhan teased. “Waiting for your true love,” he said while pinching Yinfan’s cheeks. Yifan looked at him murderously and Luhan dropped his hands.

“Okay, look. I am sure that your One True Love will be fine with you having a bit of fun while waiting. You’re young, don’t waste your opportunities and get some experience. Your mate will appreciate it, I guarantee it,” he said smiling.

Joonmyun was being too busy internally smacking his head on the wall to hear their conversation.

 

 

.....

“A banquet?” Baekhyun almost screamed. “Did you get invited?”

Joonmyun nodded while he played nervously with the invitation in his hands. “Yes, I found this in my work mailbox,” he replied and bit his lip, thinking about it.

“So? You have to go!” his friend said excitedly and started to glow.

“Baek, calm down,” Jongdae intervened. “You’ll make us go blind and get the place full of fairy dust, I don’t know which is worse.”

“Oh, sorry,” he said smugly while intentionally wiping some fairy dust on Jongdae’s shirt and Joonmyun sighed.

“No… I don’t think I will,” he replied and gave Jongdae a towel to clean himself.

“What?” they both said together.

“Are you stupid?” Baekhyun said first and jumped off the couch.

“Joonmyun, why won’t you go?” Jongdae said more calmly, interrupting his boyfriend.

Joonmyun bit his lip again. “I don’t know… He asked me too, but I said I was busy… What if he doesn’t like me anymore after he sees me? What if my hair freaks him out?”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

“Joonmyun,” Jongdae sighed. “You have to get over your hair insecurity at some point. You’re missing your life because of it.”

“Easy for you to say,” Joonmyun whispered. “If everyone around you knew exactly how you feel and could tell exactly when you lie, would you want to go out?”

“These people do not know you,” Baekhyun retorted. “We, as your friends, can tell these things, but trust me, nobody will know how you feel by your hair out there. It’s worth the risk to go and have fun from time to time. You’ve been alone for a long time you know.”

Joonmyun stayed silent for a while. “I can’t go anyway," he eventually said, "He tried to convince me to come for like, half an hour and I refused. I told him that my cat was sick too, so if I go there tonight it will be weird.”

“Ser Pounce is fine,” Baekhyun noted.

“It was just an excuse! So I can’t go now even if I wanted to because Luhan and Minseok heard it too and started asking about the cat. They gave me the night off too! Plus they have seen my face, so they’ll recognize me.”

“Joonmyun…” Baekhyun sighed.

“Okay!” Jongdae said after a heavy silence. “Joonmyun I command you to take a bet!”

“Jongdae!” Joonmyun said with shock. “How many times have I told you to-”

“I command you,” he reminded.

“Okay…” he breathed.

“You will go to the banquet. And you will meet your prince.” Joonmyun glared and Jongdae cleared his voice. “As for your hair… you will wear a wig!”

There was silence again, with Jongdae trying to think and finally smiling jubilantly and Joonmyun knew that this was a terrible idea.

“You will go dressed as a girl!” he concluded and even Baekhyun had the kindness to look shocked.

“Jongdae!”

“No, listen. Just meet him as a girl, and you know, do your weirdly creepy impersonation voice trick or something, so that it will be believable.”

“But why?” Joonmyun shrieked.

“Because it will be fun?”

Joonmyun raised his eyebrow.

“And because if you do it I’ll give you the 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' book?” he innocently asked, avoiding Joonmyun’s eyes.

Joonmyun’s eyes widened. “You have it?” he yelled not believing in his ears. He had been searching for it for years. “And you haven’t told me?” he hissed. “Do you know how much I want to read the end of-”

“Okay that’s enough!” Baekhyun interrupted. “We will give you the book and you’ll finally read the end of it. It’s not that great in the end Harry and Voldemort d-akjldfahsdkjfahslkjfal” Joonmyun liked the muffled sounds Baekhyun produced under his pillow. When he let Baekhyun breathe again, the sofa was full of glitter and then Ser Pounce had the idea to scrub on it and how was he supposed to bathe a glowing flying cat?

 

 

.....

“Guys why do you have dresses in your wardrobe?” Joonmyun asked as he saw the gowns in all colours and shoes and- wigs…

He turned his head to stare at his friends, a smiling Baekhyun and a very-red-to-be-a-vampire Jongdae.

“You know, some people-” Baekhyun started to say.

“I don’t want to know!” Joonmyun interrupted scandalized. “Just do your thing!”

Baekhyun smiled again, the kind of smile that freaked out Joonmyun.

“Okay, what colour? Pink, red, deep blue, have your pick,” he said while touching the gowns. Joonmyun examined them.

“I like this royal blue,” he concluded.

“Perfect choice and it matches with your skin!” Baekhyun said excitedly and Joonmyun had the urge to hit him.

“This dress goes with these shoes” Baekhyun sing-sang while he picked a pair and Joonmyun realized that he must have done it a hundred of times. “And these earrings,” he continued as he picked out stuff. “And oh!” he finally exclaimed, “you have to decide about this too!”

“What?”

“What size of boobs do you want?”

Joonmyun kicked him.

 

 

.....

“Here, ready,” Jongdae said as he finished the final make-up touches and put down the brush.

“You are too good at this and it makes me feel weird,” Joonmyun noted and Jongdae chuckled, his cheek turning a bit red. Joonmyun found it amusing.

Baekhyun, who still limped a bit, entered the room and handed them their coffees.

“Impressive! You make a beautiful woman Joon- okay, I am sorry, please don’t-”

“I think this hair colour suits him the most,” Jongdae noted. “Bring the black wig.”

Baekhyun pouted. “This is the colour he has when he hates me.”

“Well good for you, now we know that we want this colour for him,” Jongdae chirped and Joonmyun finally had the chance to look himself in the mirror.

His expression instantly relaxed and looked at the girl in the mirror. Her lips were a stained deep red and her eyes looked seductive with heavy eyeliner and eye-shadows. He tilted his head and suppressed his need to bite his lips. She looked good, it was the truth, he could easily pass for an Earthling woman, especially if he changed his voice. He didn’t even need a wig, his hair short, but long enough to create a nice cut even for girls, was now a sweet deep brown with hints of red here and there. Joonmyun fell into his chair sighing because what was the point going there dressed up? _To see Yifan from up close_ , a voice inside him said and he blushed because he wondered how it will be. How will it be to see Yifan? To be able to touch him?

“Thinking about the lover boy?” Jongdae interrupted his thoughts and ruffled Joonmyun’s now pastel pink hair. He gently pushed them under a cup and then placed a nice long black wig over them. He started styling it to light curls.

When Joonmyun was finally ready, Baekhyun was left with his jaw dropped open. Joonmyun took it as a compliment and smiled. When he realized that his hair did not change colour to the public eye, he felt his heart beat rate rising. He could finally walk out of there without being embarrassed. This girl… made him feel free.

But having boobs was weird he had to admit that.

 

.....

 

Just before they let him out of the hover-car and in front of the embassy, Baekhyun stopped him.

“Joonmyun,” he said and Joonmyun paused his movements.

“Yes?”

“I know that you are insecure about someone recognizing that you are a boy,” he continued “So… pheeew~”

“What the hell Baek!” Joonmyun yelled and tried to remove the fairy dust that his best friend just threw at his face.

Baekhyun smiled. “Your appearance will not change. But not a single person will think that you are a boy as long as midnight. That’s my gift for you.”

Joonmyun blinked and suddenly felt a huge weight off his shoulders. “Thank you,” he said quietly and Jongdae laughed.

“Go get him tiger! We expect news by the morning!”

Joonmyun nodded and got out of the car quickly. He waved goodbye and headed to the entrance where other people formed a line.

“Can I see your invitation please?” the guard asked and Joonmuyn handed him the small piece of paper, shivering a bit from the cold air hitting places that were usually covered.

“Sure,” he said and instantly placed his palm over his mouth because he forgot to change his voice into a woman’s.

He looked around him to see if anyone had noticed but all he could see were people coming in and out of the embassy, the place he saw everyday but never from up close. He knew the place like the back of his hand but still, he rarely ever went there physically. He was feeling nervous but excited at the same time and looked at the guard longingly who scanned his invitation. The man finally handed it back with a smile and let him in.

“This way miss,” he said.

 _Oh I know_ , Joonmyun thought and smiled back, hearing his heels making a soft sound as they hit the floor.

He could take the elevator but he wanted to see the place he worked every day as much as he could, so he headed for the stairs. He could hear Jongdae yelling at him to not sweat because it’s not lady-like, but he didn't care, he was finally free to walk this place and he would make the best out of it. Until he saw Yifan of course, he decided. Once he saw him up close and ended his curiosity, he would immediately leave. There was no need to keep pretending and make a fool of himself.

He was thinking about this, looking at his steps because damn, _walking in heels and a long dress is not easy, I hope I won’t fall_ , when he hit something solid in front of him. Hard.

“Oh,” he said softly and reminded himself to change his voice to apologise. “Sor-”

Joonmyun was left frozen on the spot, because of course in front of him there was no one else other than Prince Yifan himself, dressed in a nice suit and looking down at him with widened eyes, one of his palms gently placed on Joonmyun’s waist to keep him balanced.

Huge hands, Joonmyun noted and felt electricity running though him from the touch, making him squirm and he took a step back, putting some distance between them.

When he finally dared to look at Yifan’s eyes again, trying to actually apologise this time, the prince’s eyes went red.

Joonmyun just stared feeling like an idiot, not butterflies but pterodactyls in his stomach, because wow, Yifan was way taller than he thought, him not reaching him even with heels and way more handsome than the camera gave him credit for.

“I…,” he stuttered because he could still feel the electricity in the air “I’m sorry.” Yifan seemed stunned for a reason, his red eyes never leaving Joonmyun’s which made him feel a bit self-conscious.

“Are you okay?” Joonmyun asked because _what’s happening?_   _did he recognize me?_

But how could the Prince recognise him, he had never seen him, he reminded himself and raised an eyebrow.

This seemed to shake Yifan off his state, jumping a bit like he had a revelation. “No, no, I am sorry,” he said, his voice a bit strained and Joonmyun knew that something was off.

“I am… Kris," he introduced himself.

Joonmyun gaped at him, because did Yifan just lie to him? In a whim he decided to go along with this.

“Nice to meet you,” he replied softly. “I am… Suho.”

Suho was his favourite seal plushy as a kid, one his mother gave him and he mentally slapped himself, but tried to smile.

“Suho,” Yifan repeated, saying the name with carefulness like trying not to break it and Joonmyun felt himself blushing and nodded.

“You’re very beautiful,” Yifan continued and he indeed looked mesmerised.

Did Joonmyun hear it correctly? Yifan just said that he found him beautiful?

He obviously blushed and gave an awkward smile. “I… I mean, thank you! You’re very handsome too,” he added and looked at his hands, playing with his bracelet there. When he looked back at the man he found him still looking at him.

“I’m sorry,” Yifan said, understanding his distress. “Do you want to go up and dance with me? The band has already started.”

 _And you are not there for your banquet?_ Joonmyun thought but just nodded at the proposal.

Just when they just arrived he realised what he got himself into. Dancing? With Yifan? Dressed as a girl? In front of all these people! He felt like fainting.

Yifan turned to face him and caught his hand gently. Joonmyun’s heartbeat was raising by the minute as he walked through the dance floor and allowed Yifan to place his hands at his waist, an expression that he had never seen before in his eyes, before they started moving gracefully through the dance floor between other couples. Thank god for the dance lessons Baekhyun made him to take for his and Jongdae’s wedding, or he would have made a fool of himself.

Yifan lightly smiled at him as long they were dancing, Joonmyun blushing and trying to avoid his gaze because he was dressed as a girl but what if someone stared at him like that? Wouldn’t they be able to recognise his true nature despite Baekhyun’s dust? What if the dust is too glittery? What if his makeup is smudged? What if-

“Are you okay?” Yifan said with a concerned expression and Joonmyun widened his eyes, because,  _oh crap._

Joonmyun awkwardly chuckled. “I… Yes I am fine. I think it’s too crowed though” he said as an excuse. “Maybe I should get out, haha-”

“Great!” Yifan interrupted him and stopped their movements. “Uhm, just wait a minute!” he said and walked away, heading towards Luhan, who Joonmyun realised was looking at them. _Creepily_. Yifan whispered something in Luhan’s ear and the man seemed stunned, surprise taking over his face. Luhan then looked at him more intensively and Joonmyun felt self-conscious again. Shouldn’t have been Baekhyun and his dust, he would have left at the first chance.

Yifan finally approached him again and smiled while rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, a gesture Joonmyun was not used to seeing him doing. “I’m sorry, I had to tell my cousin that I would leave for a while so he won't search for me,” he explained. “Shall we go?”

Joonmyun silently followed, Yifan holding his hand again like they were preschoolers crossing the road. Joonmyun liked it though, the warmth was soothing and he tried to relax. Yifan seemed chatty, he might as well enjoy it too.

Yifan really knew what to do, as he led them to the garden, one of Joonmyun’s favourite places. He had only seen it on cameras but always wanted to visit and smell the flowers. Sometimes being behind a desk was really restricting. Joonmyun sighed and bended to smell a flower in front of him. Yifan curiously knelled beside him and smiled.

“Flowers on earth smell very delicately,” he noted. “Compared to other planets I mean."

“Do you like them?”

Yifan nodded. “I’ve seen more impressive,” he admitted. “But here they are simpler… Calmer I can say. And I like it that you have a meaning for each one.”

“Which one is your favourite?” Joonmyun asked and touched the white leaves of the flower in front of him.

Yifan seemed to think about it. “Poppies?”

Joonmyun laughed. “Poppies? They don’t have a particular smell! And they are a drug did you know that?”

Yifan blushed a little. “I like the colour,” he admitted. “I like how many they are all together and how the red contrasts with the green,” he explained.

“I think I understand,” Joonmyun reassured him. “I like more calm colours though.”

“And the one you are looking at?”

“Oh, that’s a Dragon Fruit Flower,” Joonmyun explained. “It blooms at night and more specifically at midnight. It’s pretty isn’t it?”

“Why dragon?” Yifan asked.

“The fruit looks like it has scales. And it’s red. Very impressive.”

Yifan came closer and suddenly they were _too close_ , Yifan only centimetres away from his face. 

“I don’t see very well at night. I am not used to it.”

 _What an excuse you perv_ , Joonmyun thought but smiled. For some reason he felt hypnotised by his gaze and wondered if Jongdae had anything to do with it.

“Uhm… it’s hard to explain,” Yifan broke the silence as he stood up. Joonmyeon followed. “But I really like you. I know that you might find it weird, but I feel… connected to you.”

Joonmyun raised his eyebrows. _What?_ Yifan felt connected _to whom?_ He blinked. This was a mistake. He knew that something was up, but because Yifan didn’t even introduce himself properly, he thought that maybe he was just playing around. If he started talking shit about feeling connected to get in Joonmyun’s pants then-

Suddenly he was being kissed. Joonmyun made a weird nose from his surprise but he got over it right after… _stars. What is this?_

Why was he feeling electricity going through him? A tingling sensation lingering at the end of his limps. Now he understood why ladies feel week after being kissed in his novels. Yifan hugged his waist gently and Joonmyun sighed a little from the nice pressure, his hands going through the other's hair and messing them a bit. It was a sweet kiss, he realised when they parted, but still the impact on him was huge. And so it was for Yifan it seemed, as he was breathless, his eyes red again, and Joonmyun really should ask him about it the next time they would talk.

“Woah,” Yifan sighed. “That was incredible.”

Joonmyun chuckled while he blushed and took a step back trying to hide his face. Suddenly the clock echoed.

Midnight.

Joonmyun panicked. Yifan might not be able to see well in the dark, but still. Joonmyun was a man in a woman’s disguise, a man that Yifan just kissed while thinking that he was kissing a woman, and more importantly, it was Joonmyun! His butler!

“Oh stars,” he mumbled.

“Yes I know,” Yifan laughed with excitement.

“No. I have to leave,” Joonmyun explained and Yifan’s expression instantly changed.

“What?”

“Sorry, I have to leave!” he ran towards the exit, and Yifan stood in the garden like a statue before finally reacting.

“Wait!” he yelled and started to run after him.

But Joonmyun knew the place like his own house. He quickly turned to a corner and saw Yifan passing in front of him, trying to catch up to him in the next corridor. Maybe he was a bit disappointed that his trick worked, but he had to get out of there fast and without anyone noticing.

 

 

.....

“So? Tell us!” Baekhyun said excitedly and Joonmyun gave him one of his looks.

“What?” he played it off innocently.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

“Joonmyun, you are not wearing a wig now, and your hair is light orange with white strands, which means that you are both embarrassed and lying about something. Also slightly nauseated.”

Joonmyun really hated Baekhyun.

“Did you meet him?” Jongdae asked then. “Tell us!”

Joonmyun sighed. “Yes I did."

“And? AND?” Baekhyun screamed and Ser Pounce left the room annoyed.

“I don’t know,” Joonmyun mumbled under his teeth. “He didn’t recognise me.”

“But he hasn’t seen you yet,” Baekhyun observed.

“Well, he didn’t recognise that I was a boy. Until midnight at least and then I left because I didn’t want to take up any chances.”

“What,” Baekhyun asked when he heard it. “You mean that you met and talked, but you left at midnight so that he wouldn’t think you are a guy?” he said in the weird tone of his.

Jongdae sighed and pinched his nose. “Baekhyun, I’ll kill you.”

“Why?” Joonmyun felt lost.

“He didn’t actually put a spell on you,” Jongdae said. “He said it so you would stop worrying. Why did you said midnight?” He hit Baekhyun with a pillow.

Baekhyun pouted. “I wanted it to have a Cinderella note!” he explained. “I didn’t think you would have gone running after midnight!”

Joonmyun felt his blood rushing to his head, which explained the vibrant red hair colour. Baekhyun's face turned ashy white.

“You say I could have a whole night with him, but I lost it because you lied?”

Baekhyun screamed as Joonmyun jumped on him.

Ser Pounce decided to move out of the house and left a dead mouse on Joonmyun’s pillow as a thank you note.

Judging by how quickly Joonmyun picked it up when he saw it and the sounds he made, Ser Pounce decided that his servant really liked the gift too, before jumping out of the bedroom window.

 

 

.....

“Joonmyun how is your pet?” Yifan asked first thing in the morning.

Joonmyun pouted. “He run away,” he whined and made a sniffing sound. “He left a dead mouse on my pillow and then jumped out the window! He must really hate me…”

Yifan widened his eyes. “He left? Did you search for him?”

“Yes, but I couldn’t find him. I was out for three hours before I gave up. I guess he will return if he wants to.”

Yifan nodded. “Well if he was sick too maybe he has a reason to leave.”

 _Yes, sick of Baekhyun_ , Joonmyun thought. “Maybe.”

Joonmyun then decided that it was polite to ask about the banquet too because Yifan truly seemed lost from the moment he saw him and he didn’t think that it was because of Ser Pounce.

“So… How was the banquet?” he innocently asked.

Yifan made a sound that scared him.

“You won’t believe it,” he mumbled. “I met a girl.”

Joonmyun covered his mouth with his hand. _Crap_. He really hoped that Yifan was going to talk to him about the cupcakes in the buffet.

But Yifan seemed a bit lost and a bit dreamy. “The most beautiful and kind girl I’ve ever met,” he added.

Joonmyun raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Did you guys talk a lot?”

“No. But I can tell.”

_What an idiot._

“I am sure you can. What did you talk about?”

“Flowers. She made fun of me because I like poppies.”

_Of course I would._

“Doesn’t seem very kind,” he observed.

Yifan’s face flushed. “No! She was amazing! So beautiful…” He bit his bottom lip.

“And?”

“And?”

“Did you talk about anything else?”

“Uhm…. that I don’t see well at night?”

Joonmyun rolled his eyes.

“What do you know about her?”

Yifan tilted his head.

“That her name is Suho? Such a nice name by the way.”

_Yes. For a seal._

“You know her name and that she likes to make fun of people for their flower preferences?” he chortled and Yifan pouted.

“Well, no! I am sure she is amazing, I could feel it you know! And she liked me too, even if I didn’t tell her my name and that I was the prince because you know, I wanted to see how she would like me if she didn’t know. Still, you should have seen how easily she followed me!”

 _Did he just call me easy?_   His ears turned red.

“And,” Yifan continued “She was so beautiful. You should have seen her! Her eyes were amazing, I swear, I could see stars in them and her skin was so nice and smooth and the best of all, her boobs-”

“WHAT THE HELL,” Joonmyun shouted and closed his ears again. His boobs? Seriously? He protectively placed his hands over his chest.

Yifan pouted again. “What?” he innocently asked. “They were nice and big-”

“Enough!” Joonmyun interrupted. “If you like her only for her… breast, then-”

“I love her!”

_What._

“What?” Joonmyun gasped.

“Yes I do!” Yifan said stubbornly.

“Why?” Joonmyun shrieked and felt dizzy.

“She enchanted me,” Yifan calmly said and smiled like an idiot.

 _I can’t enchant people!_ Joonmyun wanted to yell. _Or can I? Am I a late bloomer at luring people? I am half a siren, I might be one! Oh my god, I lured my boss to fall in love with me. As a girl. My boss is in love with girl-me. He likes girls and boobs. I don’t have boobs, I-_

“Joonmyun are you okay?”

“Sorry?” he blinked.

“You're making strange sounds.”

“Me?” Joonmyun breathed and buried his face in his palms. _What am I going to do?_

“I ordered a search for her,” Yifan said after a while. “She escaped right after midnight and I don’t know why… I hope I didn’t scare her with…” he blushed and made a pause, touching his lips. “Anyways, Luhan already started the investigation with the invitations and camera-checks. I am sure we will find her and then we can live together and-”

“I don’t feel very well,” Joonmyun said and then everything turned black.

 

 

.....

“Joonmyun?” Luhan was standing right above him and Joonmyun felt the urge to close his eyes again. Why was he smiling at him like that?

“Joonmyun, are you awake?”

He grunted.

“I have never seen your hair so dark before,” Luhan noted and sat in the chair beside the bed.

“Where am I?”

“In one of the guest rooms,” Luhan replied. “Yifan came running that something was wrong when he heard a sound and then you stopped responding, so we sent someone to check on you. You were unconscious in your room.”

Joonmyun massaged his temples. Then he remembered.

“Did he see me?” he hissed.

Luhan smirked. “No. I didn’t let him.”

Joonmyun arched his eyebrows.

“You were very pretty yesterday,” Luhan said like he was talking about the weather. “Loved your dress.”

Joonmyun froze and stared with wide eyes. “How… What… Did…” he stuttered.

“Oh, Yifan even made me make a search, but I knew who you were the moment I saw you. I just lied that I would get into it, but I wanted to talk to you first.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you like him?” Luhan asked and Joonmyun felt ears and cheeks turning hot.

“Like? Who?” he asked innocently and avoided to look the man in the eyes.

Luhan laughed. “Obviously he likes you,” he said. “He imprinted on you!”

“I didn’t mean to enchant him!” Joonmyun cried. “I didn’t know I could do that! Give me some days to find out how to take it back and I-”

Luhan’s corners of his mouth were rising and Joonmyun stopped.

“What's going on?”

“He imprinted _on you_ ,” he explained. “You did not lure him. Imprinting is something that happens to our kind, it’s a lifetime bond we have with our partners. We don’t have much of a saying, nor can we control it. Obviously. I don’t think Minseok could stand me if he hadn’t imprinted on me,” he chuckled.

Joonmyun’s mouth was wide open. “I don’t think that-”

“Didn’t his eyes turn red?” Luhan asked even if he appeared like he already knew the answer. “This happens either when we are around our soulmates or when our instincts act up on their own. You can say that the first case is an instinct too. So did you see that?”

“Yes…”

“Then he is your soulmate!” Luhan said excitedly and clapped his hands. Joonmyun winced at the sound.

“He likes women,” he stated and felt his eyes watering. “What are you talking about?”

Luhan tilted his head. “Yifan?” he laughed. “People from our culture never like one thing Joonmyun, we know that we might imprint on every gender or agender, and there are so many possibilities in the universe. Yifan does not like only women, I admit that he likes women’s,” and he made a gesture in front of his chest, “but he likes you. _You_.”

Joonmyun hid his face. “I don’t think that’s the case,” he mumbled and Luhan sighed.

“Wait a minute,” he said and exited the room, leaving Joonmyun in his misery.

 

 

.....

An hour passed and suddenly the door opened and a very confused Yifan entered the room.

“Joonmyun?” he said and looked at the man on the bed.

Yifan froze and Joonmyun could practically hear his own heartbeat. His eyes were red again.

“What's going on?” Yifan said and opened and closed his mouth so many times that he resembled a goldfish. “I can’t have two soulmates!” he hissed in the end. “Impossible!”

Joonmyun felt like hitting him.

Yifan’s eyes widened. “I think I am going crazy,” he confessed. “Your hair just turned from blond to dark brown,” he said and took a few steps back like he was afraid.

Joonmyun sighed. _What an idiot._

“And now they are magenta. Oh, galaxy.”

“Yifan, stop,” he ordered and Yifan instantly straightened his back. “Sit here.”

Yifan slowly sat by him eyeing him curiously. “You are Joonmyun right?”

“Yes."

“Why did I imprint on you? I imprinted on a girl yesterday too…”

“I was the girl Yifan!” he whimpered and felt tears in his eyes.

Yifan just stared at him. “Suho? You’re Suho?” he gulped. “But-”

“I guess I make a pretty convincing girl,” Joonmyun said sarcastically and twisted his lips. “With nice boobs.”

Yifan shrieked and covered his face with his palms. “Oh my God,” he yelled.

“We don’t believe in God anymore-”

“Joonmyun!” Yifan interrupted him and touched his wrists, taking his palms into his own. “Why did you do that?!”

“I… I already said that I wouldn’t come…” he mumbled. “But then a friend made me change my mind, and this was not my idea, I swear!” he run his hand through his hair. “I didn’t know you would have imprinted on me either! I-”

“Joonmyun,” Yifan interrupted him again and made him look at him. “I am glad it’s you,” he confessed and Joonmyun felt breathless. “I liked you a lot. _A lot_ ,” he repeated as to make the message clearer. “I even felt weird when I talked to you in the morning, because no matter how much I liked that girl last night, I really liked you. And you were right, I didn’t learn a thing about her.” He chuckled. “Do you like me?” Joonmyun could feel the tears in his cheeks now and he knew he could not answer. He just nodded and suddenly his face was pressed on Yifan’s chest and he was being hugged by him and oh, _it’s so warm_.

Yifan laughed lighty. “I didn’t expect that I would meet my soulmate here,” he confessed. “But I am so glad it’s you Joonmyun, I love you so much. So much.”

Joonmyun just sobbed harder.

“Your hair is blue,” Yifan noted and smiled. “So cute. Oh, now they are green! So cool!”

Joonmyun smiled messily.

“Can you do a galaxy colour?” Yifan asked.

 

 

.....

 

Joonmyun made drinks for all of them and entered his living room to serve them. He happily noticed that his friends and his boyfriend were talking to each other and he relaxed. He was really afraid of the impression his friends were going to make to Yifan.

“You can thank us now,” Baekhyun suddenly stated and he slightly tucked his chin in the air. “We made you a couple.”

Joonmyun stared angrily at him but Yifan chuckled awkwardly beside him and caught his hand to soothe it.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Don’t thank them!” Joonmyun hissed. “They make my life miserable and they trick me all the time! And I am pretty sure I lost Ser Pounce because of them!”

“Oh, you can’t accuse us for everything!” Jongdae whined. “Besides, all ended up good. You’re happy aren’t you?” Joonmyun blushed and felt Yifan squishing his hand. “Yes I am,” he mumbled under his breath and Yifan smiled instantly.

“So cheesy,” Baekhyun commented but ignored the daggers Joonmyun threw at him with his eyes. “But I guess that’s what really matters. What will you do now?”

Yifan smiled. “I decided to go on a trip first, show him different planets for a while. Minseok and Luhan said that in five years they’ll transfer to another position, so we might take the chance and come to Earth in the end. I really like it here. Except if you want to stay at another planet sweetheart, then we can do whatever you want,” he said and pecked Joonmyun lightly on the lips.

“Why are you so poor?” Baekhyun said to Jongdae, sounding scandalized. “You would never do that for me!”

Jongdae rolled his eyes. “Well if you want, we can sell the fairy dust you produce when we- ohmygodBaekhyunwhy” he chuckled under the pillow that was shoved on his face. “YouknowthatIdon’tneedtobreatheright?”

Joonmyun laughed with all his heart at the sight.

All was good.

 

 

Even when Baekhyun tried to kill Jongdae.

 

 

The end

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Yes Ser Pounce is Tommen’s cat in Game of Thrones, don’t juDGE me.


End file.
